In January 2013 the Universe was like Here and put Yoga Teacher Training in my lap. It was unexpected, and confusing, and I was less than graceful in accepting the gift.

I recently went to practice in that studio’s newer space. My first time back in years and I found myself standing in front of the tree I’d drawn over 39 months ago, hanging on the wall. I stood in front of the image in complete silence at first. I began to remember how challenging drawing that piece had been… remembered the hot tears that ran down my face; water beckoning growth.

I remembered the way my body felt against the hardwood floor. The piece of paper beneath me. Pen in hand, Heart on my sleeve. The group behind me, busy, doing something else, mostly unaware of how this task affected me. I sat there Knowing there was no other way than to produce, no other option than to create.

My eyes traced over the names curved atop the tree trunk, examined curiously the thumbprints we left as leaves. I felt nothing. I wondered how many people had seen this, had noticed, how many had felt the font of my letters, the shades in my strokes.

I remembered the collaboration that went into the stanza we wrote. The group of us playing with words. The Yes in Johnny Fay’s eyes and smile when we struck the Write chord.

Roots that ground to the Divine 

Branches reaching beyond Space & Time 

Leaves that leave a Legacy 

Reminding us to always Breathe 

I felt nothing and marveled at the nothingness.

I didn’t expect to go through teacher training when I did. Becoming a yoga instructor was a new dream with a “some day in the future” essence. I was caught off guard when it was tossed into my lap days before I turned 24, Sophie planting seeds one night at the end of practice, a small light above me turning on.

I’ve always tried to honor The Life That Wants To Live Inside Me, to not prioritize my own plans over my higher life purpose. There’s a balance of course, in creating your own reality. Sometimes I think of dreams like love letters, sent directly from Our Hearts to Life’s Creator saying, “Hey, what do you think about this?”. Humble suggestions. Playful propositions.

I do my best to Let Go. Give it Up. Work Hard and See What Happens. As I move forward I soften to fractions, observe and absorb the divinely set rations of Everything I’m meant to Feel and Become and Leave Behind.

Roots that ground to the Divine 

Branches reaching beyond Space & Time 

Leaves that leave a Legacy 

Reminding us to always Breathe 

I felt nothing and remembered the hot tears.

Remembered the way my body splayed on the floor.

Couldn’t remember why it felt so hard in the first place.

Couldn’t remember why it felt so hard in the first place.