February 1st. New month. I’ve paid less attention to it than usual. Normally I pounce on 1st’s as the perfect opportunity to begin some type of demanding idealistic re-set. They pretty much never fully fruition and then I almost always feel shittier. But this February 1st the perfectionist in me seems to be a bit more reserved in her demands, offering only a hint of opinion that was brief and dull. This isn’t to say I’m ecstatic about where I’m at with everything – I have multiple areas of work and improvement I’d like to see – but perhaps I’m just being less rigid and harsh about the ways in which I seek and accomplish and transform…

Lots of love was received from many of you after yesterday’s post. Residual tides hung about briefly today but for the most part all is well. Just need to get out of my head and into the world around me. Remember the bigger picture. Return to Service. Less me and more Life. Waves sure make you take a pretty look in the mirror don’t they. Oof. All for expanded Being… All for expanded Ways…

I’m learning a bit of Muay Thai here from one of the Scot’s here who fights and wants to do it professionally. He say’s everything comes from the feet, the feet, the hips. I find myself wanting to just charge and hit and swing but none of it means anything without skill and focus and intention. I haven’t figured out my breath with it yet. Same with snowboarding. The only time I notice my breath while riding is when it’s strained. Maybe breath-integration will come later. 

There are things passing through that I want to type but don’t want to share with the unknown ear. I’ve noticed a sacrifice in prioritizing these posts over my own personal entries of release and processing and paper to pen. It’s good to observe where the hold up is and peer around to see what I’m less keen to wear on my sleeve. I FaceTimed Jackie today and cried. It was so good to cry to her. I hadn’t realized how long it’d been. How long it’s been since I’ve cried to anyone, really, but to her in particular. I stumble upon how to even sum up or explain what she means to me, the breadth in which we’ve expanded and challenged and seized this life with one another. 

Community is vital. It’s been interesting to see myself not wanting to be alone anymore. Not wanting to travel alone or forge ahead solo. I will, if that’s where I’m led, it’s just a contrast to the solitude I’ve so deeply craved for the majority of my life. It feels good to want to be around others, to ask for Yes, More, Please with other human beings. It also feels somewhat strange, and at times a bit scary, but in that you know it will all be fine sort of way. It’s comforting to know though that the Universe is working with our dreams and desires. That It hears our requests and has already provided. That it will continue to hear us and will continue to provide, we just have to show up and keep doing the work… 
To Showing Up and Doing the Work.