Slow strolls through forest trees, snow monkeys and sushi trains, temples that have maze paths that lead you out right where you started… darkness below in the tunnel, holding onto the wall for guidance, bodies in front of me, bodies behind; first lesson was move slower… Fleeting moment of anxiety, then laughing at the fear – so clearly illogical, so clearly a trick of the mind. Colors and heat and vibrations came off the wood as I traced fingers over space thousands of others had touched…

Wandering slowly, choosing less territory and detail over more land that’s seen surface deep; a Japanese monk playing the drum, I just followed the sound, the sound, the sounds, the bell…

The swastika prominent in decor, a statue of a woman holding her child in one arm, Reina I said without thinking standing before her; her Strength, her Power… Vero crossed my mind, a pink bouquet of fresh flowers recently left by another… 

Breathtaking drives through mountains…I’ve never been so in love with the land around me…it’s so right in such soft and subtle ways…of course I’m meant to be here right now….of course I am a snow child to these winter wonder land edges and peaks and valleys and blankets and blankets and banks of white snow…it makes sense in ways words can’t quite express and in ways I’ve never felt before…new yet always was…

Conversations with Candice…affirmations and reflections and thoughts, Light and Life and Love reflected in so many ways…new territory, familiar roots, whispering weavings… love for Logan’s soul, humor, ways of being…sushi train fun and yums…grateful for the people around me…

Funny to see Japanese police cars, and officers, and call them “cute” – never have I seen authority and thought to myself “aw, how cute” – a friend mentioned that about the military here, too, how it’s the only place he’s been to in the world where passing by a man in uniform doesn’t make a part of him contract; I agreed

The snow monkeys…they sleep somewhere different every single night…they eat food by the seasons…inspiring ways to live… Interesting to learn about their mating habits, the male moving from group to group, the women and children typically staying in one and helping each other…interesting…

One more day of this challenge… Mostly ready to wipe my hands clean of this commitment… Today was the first day a fleeting moment of nostalgia came… This will be so good to look back on…has been so good… it’s been perfect, exactly as it was always meant to be… looking forward to lessening the demand…

At least once a day I lie in bed and imagine what the space around me would look like without the walls… Floating three stories up…the mountain range surrounding me… remembering where I am… sometimes I imagine all the rooms and bodies stacked on top of one another, layers of people sleeping, living, breathing, being

Rain is falling here… Spring is trying hard to come early…