When I was applying to college I applied to 17 different schools. All of them were in California except for three that were in Boston. Why Boston? I still can’t tell you. I looked at a list of all the school names there and literally took my finger and randomly picked a few. I guess intuition has always been my guiding force. 

I visited every single school I was accepted into hoping to step onto campus and have a clear A-HA moment – those times where the heavens open and you just Know and everything says THIS. It never happened. Boston was cold and bleak and nowhere felt right. Nothing felt wrong, either. Stalemate.  

So how’d I end up there? Locals, hearing I was from sunny San Diego, would ask me that all the time. The easiest way I could ever explain it was “What if?” – it was the only place I’d look back on and wonder about, the only place that held the possibility of Regret. There was nothing in the present moment saying Yes, but there was a future moment in me that realized if I didn’t go I’d always wonder what it could have been, what if I had… 

And so I went. And on the very first night of my orientation I called my mom from my 10th story floor door room crying. Not because it was wrong or scary or unknown, but because it was so clearly Right. The Power of Being Exactly Where I Was Meant To Be moved me to tears. I’d taken a leap of faith and landed Aligned. It was amazing to see and feel and Be this.
When I find myself at a fork in the road and am unsure of which way to go I typically look at it two ways: If I go left, I know what will happen. If I go right, I don’t know what will happen…which means anything is possible…

I do my best to consistently choose right, to dissipate the wonderment of “What if?”… Living this way leaves less space for regret and more space for surprise and magic and Yes Please and Alignment. At least that’s what I’ve found thus far. Worst case scenario? You go Right and regret not going Left. You can always turn around and go back though. Left will still be there. That special and specific door of opportunity on the right though? Fleeting… 

I met one of my sweetest lovers on a night I didn’t want to go out but said Yes. I’d gone to dinner with an old friend and she was heading out after. I was tired and uninterested and wanted to choose Left – home and comfort and bed. I didn’t though. The nagging thought of, “What if?” swooped in and instead of getting off the train at my stop I carried on. No expectation, just curiosity, wonderment of What Could Be rather than What Would’ve Been. 

Curiosity can take you so many places if you just let it. What if? Follow the fog and you just might find yourself in some pretty spectacular land. It may not always be perfect, but at least you’ll Know, no regrets, and be changed and better because of it. 

  
Rooftop Laughter with a Boston Bestie – 2011