Singing in the shower, throat chakra belting before I even realized words were coming out of my mouth. Songs I’ve never cared for before, a desire for more leads me there but on other notes, keys, paces. Singing and hearing your own voice give off the sound and song you’ve been searching for. In it – can’t slow down to catch the words – the only way to them is through them and your memory might have to take a back seat to get there. You’ll get there anyhow though, and you’ll be imprinted nonetheless. Imprinted nonetheless. 

A shift in awareness has come and it’s lasted over the span of days. Looking at people differently, at the coming together of each moment, the power behind it, how fragile it is. Taking in how there is nothing else but Here, how Here is ever-shifting, ever-changing, how nothing lasts forever and this is all pretty damn special, oh, Nothing Lasts Forever and this is pretty damn special, she sings. That use to have more of a sting to it. Now it just lightly wonders of temporary lapses into the illusion of wanting more, a shimmer of worry that I sweep back with breath and thought choice. 

That use to have more of sting to it, now tryna just find another ring to fit, hit hit hit hit back all them worries and now sing to it, oh oh oh oh sing to it, oh oh oh sing to it, oh oh oh – 

My first dream was to be a country singer. I recently told a loved one that and he said Don’t Give Up On It. I would sing in the shower as a kid and my sister would tell me I sucked so I stopped. Years later I was singing on the floor of my room and her and her partner would be one room across the hallway disagreeing on of if it was my voice or a song I was playing. It’s been so fun to see in the last several years how you can really play with and change and expand your voice.

I randomly sang one night in Dalat, Vietnam last year to raised glasses, a seven minute window of opportunity – Do It or Don’t. The only way I got up there was because I knew how much I’d regret it if I didn’t. Flipping my finger to fear by taking my feet behind the mic. When you’re up there there’s nothing else you can do but bring it. Same with getting off the ski lift. You don’t get a choice in When and you try to not hold your breath as you slide slide slide look ahead look ahead look ahead (totally looking down) you got this you got this you got this – oh what a cheerleader I am. 

Some of those around me use the word “pure” as slang and I’m adding it into my vocabulary. They use other words I’m not use and sometimes we’re all speaking English but can’t understand each other. It’s been fun to learn and see and blend into the differences of humor around the world.  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fqpfT7YMDtM I wrote this last night before dinner but didn’t post it right away. Hadn’t read it over again for edits yet before I went on post-dinner night walk that was only suppose to be half an hour. Post-dinner night walk turned into a post-dinner night drink, which turned to a post-dinner night dance with glow sticks – all in my “carpet slipper” hiking boots. 

  
Dalat, Vietnam